Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
