Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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