filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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