The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
