At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
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New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
this is an emotional support booty call
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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