Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
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You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
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My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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