Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
