I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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