I am spending my child support on dildos
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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