Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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