That's intense
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
