Having a random hookup so left but love u
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize