No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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