Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
They have beer where we have blood.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
