she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
