do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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