She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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