so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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