Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
