so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
