i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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