Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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