After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
wanna go halves on a baby?
it hurts more in the daytime
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
