Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
