HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
