ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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