its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
