I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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