Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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