I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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