I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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