i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
