She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
