how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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