i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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