they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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