I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Your tits are I can't wait for
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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