i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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