Reggie can tackle my bush.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
