Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
