He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
