yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You've changed since you got that strap on
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize