I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
