it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
