Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
