i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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