covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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