omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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