last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
