Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
