Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
