Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So much Jack, so little girl.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
