I like to think it a success when the cops are called
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
