O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
