Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
