I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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