If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
