I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
