We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
