It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
