You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
