i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
