my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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