brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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