just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just want nice things and good sex
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
