stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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