# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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